12.31.2008

Resolution

Wow. Today is the last day until 2008 is over. Crazy. Time flies. I've accomplished a lot this year and improved immensely. I've found many aspects of myself, aspects I quite don't like, to the tell the truth.

I've never been successful with New Years Resolutions...probably because I don't set them. Shocker? Not really. It's just an excuse for an attempt to improve yourself and feel hopeful for the future just to feel disappointment when it doesn't turn out perfectly like you hoped. Not to mention people's resolutions...jeez, they are always so cliché. Ugh. And they have motivation for like the first month and stop completely because they get distracted by life. Instead of doing 'resolutions' once a year, why can't we take it day by day? At the end of each day say 'Hey I need to thank so and so for doing this and that...' or 'Wow I've been blessed today...' or 'Hm. I could have reacted better to this situation...I'll work to react better and apologize tomorrow' and when I say tomorrow I really mean the very next day. Don't procrastinate until the end of the year to fix your faults - do it day by day, hour by hour, etc. If you make it a daily routine, it becomes more of a habit and less of a burden.

I am going to make a resolution for myself.

So...I'm sarcastic. Shocker? Not really. It's so much fun. hehe. But I'm not sardonic. I have more of a hey-teasing-is-fun-don't-take-it-seriously type humor. If I know you don't like my sarcasm, I quit it. I tend to know when it is too much. Tend to. But I was thinking to myself last night 'You know what? I quit it when someone says to stop. I wonder how many people DON'T say anything when it really does hurt.' I know I don't always speak up. And people say that they need to lighten up, to chill, to breathe. But why should they? What if they were really struggling that day? I don't share my personal problems usually, I try to involve hardly anyone. How would you feel if you're drowning and when you almost can touch the surface someone shoves you back under? What if you want to "lighten up"? But if you've only felt darkness, how are you going to know where to find that light?
Who am I to judge who can take my sarcasm when I don't know every detail of their life that has shaped who they are?
Who am I to know and understand what they can handle?
Should I really suppose someone will be able to take my jokes? Will I say my remark anyway and risk pain and hurt for momentary pleasure?

I love the Sermon on the Mount. Matthew 5 (cross-reference to 3 Nephi 12) is so fascinating. There are specifics I'm about to write, may even expound upon.

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Hm. I need to be more of a Comforter and less of a jerk, to put it quite frankly. I'm a great listener. My ears work quite well:) but my mouth...yeah I can work on what I say...How many times am I the reason why someone is mourning or sad etc?


Matthew 5:5 "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."
Well I'm going to focus on the 'meek' part. Some synonyms: gentle, forgiving, benevolent. I think of meekness as genuine kindness.
Forgiving? I'm fairly good at that, I don't like when people are mad at me, so I shy away from being angry at others. I am not easily offended. I've been asked for forgiveness and I'm like 'Huh? wait, what happened? Is everything alright?' so I'm either really tolerable of people or I'm so unobservant to the point of not understanding the situation. I'm undecided which one it is, so take your pick. I won't care either way hehe:)

Gentle? Oh crap. I'm usually quite sensitive to others' feelings but since my very recent epiphany I'm wondering how many people I accidentally hurt. It's hard to be gentle and kind to them next time and each time after that when you don't know who they are. So starting NOW, I'm going to be more gentle and caring.
=>Psalm 18:35 "Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation and thy
right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great."
His gentleness has made David great. What better example to follow to lift others up
than the Savior? "His gentleness hath made me great."


Matthew 5:43-44,46-47 "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Though shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you:
For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others do not even the publicans so?"
So if I'm going to work to improve myself with gentleness and kindness, to be a better friend...well shouldn't I expand better friend to better person? "For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?
John 13:34-35 "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye love one another."
Love one another. Sounds easy. Too bad it's harder than it looks. I mean I can love one another; how hard could it be? Oh wait...love...EVERYONE? (Matthew 5:43-44,46-47) Alright, I can do this...how am I going to do this??
John 13:35 - Woah. Wait - people will see that I'm a follower of Christ, by loving one another. Well I consider myself a disciple, I believe in Christ. I'm a believer. But it's so much more than believing - I want to be a follower.
=>James 1:22 "But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves."
It's so much more than saying you believe. If you say that you believe, why wouldn't you follow through? If you believe what Christ taught, why wouldn't you live your life that way? What's stopping you? You know and believe it, so do it:) And if you're following Christ's example, then you will be able to love all and show that you love all. You can say you are a believer, but it's being a believer in example that shows others who you are.
=>1 Timothy 4:12 "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of
the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in
purity."
=>James 2:17-18 "Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith and I have works: shew me thy faith
without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works."
One is a disciple of Christ by one's actions and works.
=>Romans 2:11 "For there is no respect of persons with God."
God does not play favorites - neither should I. I need to love all men, all of God's children.


Philippians 4:11 "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
or
Elder Wirthlin's quote, "Come what may, and love it."
That scripture and quote are in my Top 10 favorite quotes...actually probably number 1 or 2. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but I'm more vocal about my complaints than my blessings. I'm learning to show and talk about the good things in life and not just vent when I'm sorrowful or upset. And it's not that I've never been grateful - I've always realized how many blessings I truely have - but it's a real slap in the face when friends get sick of your negative attitude that you display because you don't talk enough about the good.
=>Proverbs 15:13 "A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by
sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."
=>Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken
spirit drieth the bones."
=>A poem I really like (goes something similar to this lol):
"They may not need me, but they might.
I'll let my head be just in sight.
A smile as small as mine might be
Precisely their necessity."
It's so much more fun when one is cheerful; no one wants to be around someone who is just going to pull them down. Whenever I'm feeling down, I go to my Savior and Friend. But I also go to my friends who are cheerful and always willing and wanting to lift me up - even if it is as simple as a smile.


My Resolution:
  • more gentle
  • more kind
  • more charity and love
  • more happy

It's more than just saying "I'm going to stop doing this or that." You have to replace the bad with good, or the weakness will come back. It's more than giving something up and expecting it to stay away. It requires a change of heart and a desire to do good and become better. And that's what I'm going to try to do, become a better person.

"But Sarah. There's no way you can accomplish all this perfectly in a year!"

If it was possible to become perfect and whole in a year, then wow. Cool. I'd take it lol. But I'm not doing it in a year, I'm taking it day by day. Meaning I have much longer than 365 days to work on this. But I'm going to try my hardest every single day to be more loving and be more like my Savior and Redeemer.

12.24.2008

Update

Mama wanted an update...

I'm on Christmas Break thank goodness!
I want to listen to the David Archuleta CD. right now. but this computer doesn't have sound dang it.
I went on a triple date last night. Me and Nathan/Charity and Trevor/Stephanie and Spencer. It was incredibly fun. Mormon dates are always so creative:)
I'm attempting to wait patiently until Christmas tomorrow.
I finished 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, and Jude today meaning I'm on Revelations. I'm still deciding what I'll read next. I'm thinking Book of Mormon.
I still have to read Passage to India sometime over break... :(
I really, really despise rain right now.

11.11.2008

Coolest Quote Ever

Talking about the Gospel: "My life was so empty before it, and now it's pretty much why i live."

10.07.2008

why do i always post my friends' poems on here? lol

My friend Ashley wrote this poem:]

Falling in love is a dangerous thing.
there's no telling just where you might land,
and no telling if you'll just keep falling
or if someone will put out their hand.
Putting faith like that into a lover
doesn't make for a true love at all,
it just leads to dependence and heartbreak
and pain when you land from the fall.
Saying someone is the sun in your sky
and the reason the stars are so bright
can lead to infinite cloudy days
and a velvety blackness each night.
And saying that you live only for them
or they are the beats of your heart
puts you at risk for a premature death
if it happens to all fall apart.
Declaring that they are all you see
and that they are each breath that you take
will in time affect you with blindness
or cause you to suffocate.
These are mistakes that all lovers make
that they usually don't even see,
they don't realize the true definition of love,
the kind that lasts for eternity.

well...
My love for you isn't like that.

You aren't the reason my sun shines each day
Your are not the only one I can see.
You didn't put all of the stars in the sky
nor are you every breath come from me.
you're not the reason my heart keeps on beating,
my life does not center on you,
I am not hopeless if i cant be yours...
without you to myself I'm still true.

instead...

I want to share the sunlight with you,
the warmth on our faces as we walk,
I want to be with you under the stars...
just sitting close with no need to talk.
Instead of you being all that i see
I want to see everything with you.
Our dreams and fears and hopes and trials,
and everything we do.
And every breath I can share with you
is one that would be treasured...
and laying close, it'd be so amazing
to feel our hearts beating together.
who i am is not determined by "us",
I do not desperately need you,
But I'd enjoy your close company more than you know...
i guess that's what i mean when i say "i love you".

10.04.2008

"You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)" Josh Groban

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

7.26.2008

Another poem, written by my friend Courtney=)

As I glance down at the beautiful blade,
Remembering all of the horrible mistakes I made,
Tears cascading down my cheek,
Feeling dead and spiritually weak.

Pretty pills lay on the table beside me,
Resorting to this perverted remedy,
I plan to shear open wounds unto my skin,
Realizing the darkness shining within.

But here stands a picture of my savior, my soul mate,
The one who has morphed my awful fate.
What would they say of my cruel mind?
Would I be leaving something behind?

I lower the razor of fate to the floor,
I refuse to let myself cry anymore.
Too much keeps me by my beloved's side,
I slowly realize it's only part of me that died.

So I gaze towards the once empty Heaven's in prayer,
Knowing now that I can find Him anywhere.

When I feel lost or in eternal pain,
When I feel like life is in utter disdain,
I look to him and smile,
And know life isn't all that vile.

7.04.2008

Conversations

"well if you see yourself thinking about others and what they would like, you need to stop. that's one thing i had to learn and it took me forrrever. here: i wake up. determine what mood i'm in. lazy? what if i see this person today and i'm dressed like i didn't care? nope not right attitude. i'm feeling like i don't need to try with my wardrobe so i won't. if i wake up and i'm like alright i'm doing good, i have time. maybe i'll really try hard today like spend lots of time. okay by the end of the time span i still look like i gave a 5-minute effort. so guess what i do now? i spend 5 minutes on clothes and hair. make-up takes maybe 5 minutes. b/c i've finally come to realize i honestly don't give a crap if people think i didn't try b/c i know i did at least a little and what i think about myself is more important."


"I didn't even know you well at youth conference. i knew nothing about you, but I thought you were cool, and I always slightly wanted that, to be like you and your group. But I felt I wasn't good enough. But when you cared, when you asked what was wrong, I knew that kind of person. I knew to trust you. Instinct." - someone said that to me. i'm not going to share who but it meant a great deal.


"you may be surprised to hear this but i've been alone quite a lot before. it sucks it really does and all one wants is to find someone who they can turn to, talk to, fill that loneliness. i know it sucks and i wish i could give you the best advice but i really don't know what to say. i don't know your background, your thoughts, your wants and desires. i know you're a great person but like every other great person you can't do it alone especially when trying to fill that gap of loneliness. turn to your friends, but most importantly what i've learned to do is pray. i wish i prayed more when i was your age and in the intermediate/middle school level b/c it would have helped me a lot. seriously, turn to good friends for help and advice but even when friends fall short sometimes (b/c lets face it we all fall short, no one's perfect) God's always there. and this may sound cheesy, fake, and irrelevant but it helps incredibly...
...i used to never vent. trust me don't go down that route. venting is good. i had so many things built up in me that once i finally started opening up to people it was like it was impossible to start from one point and explain what i was feeling b/c it was like i want to talk to you about this but then i need to tell you why i'm reacting why i am so it's b/c of this and that's b/c of that and it sucks b/c people sometimes don't understand where i'm coming from b/c it's almost like they don't know the real me b/c i never really showed anyone my feelings until i'd say probably 8th or 9th grade. especially this past year since last summer i've changed a lot. and not really changed who i am just more that i changed how i acted around people. like i started being myself and i'm quite emotional more than i used to think"








a few thoughts i shared with a friend. i guess you can tell me what you think. if you don't, oh well. if you do, alright. the second quote is something she said to me.

6.19.2008

"Nothing"

My friend, Josh, in my English class wrote this for a poetry competition thing our teacher had us enter. He only got an honorable mention and imo, it should have won at the very least second.


"What does the richest man want but can not buy?
What is the correct answer to every "why"?
What's superior to perfection, what's inferior to sin?
What's safer than protection, what's more interior than in?
What's luckier than seven, what's healthier than well?
What's better than heaven, what's worse than hell?
What's shorter than a moment, what's longer than forever?
What in the world has existed never?
What doesn't happen for a reason?
What's colder than freezin'?
What can a blind man see, what can a numb person feel?
What's more than everything, what's less than not anything?
What can make each moment reappear?
What can make everything disappear?
What's darker than black, what can a deaf man hear?
What rhymes with silver, purple, orange, or month?
What's hotter than the Z Machine, what's faster than light?
What's more unlucky than thirteen, what's lighter than white?
What's bigger than the universe, whats smaller than an atom?
The answer is something we simply can not fathom."

6.14.2008

Random

random update of my life!
you don't get this often so enjoy!!


school is out, thank goodness [i started singing Wicked lol] stupid Fairfield had to have a make-up day. too many snow days. so our last day instead of June 6 was June 9. how cruel. well i found out today that i got straight A's this last term. i worked hard for that A in french 3. phew. but now i have summer work for french 4 and pre AP english...and then i'm also taking german 1 next year:) and business academy. i get to go to dallas, texas next may:) and my senior year is disneyland how freakin awesome is that:D
anyway, my sisters dance recital was adorable. loved it. it was my first year watching from the audience. i danced for 5 years then was working backstage the other years so it was exciting to watch for myself!
i started today walking/jogging/running in the morning. at 7. i might do 6 instead. but i do it around the neighborhood for an hour. i'm in shape, just not THAT in shape. so i'm trying to change that at least a tiny bit:)
um. btw, if you've never heard of Jon McLaughlin look him up. pretty much a phenomenal pianist and great singer and fantastic song writer, and did i mention he plays the piano? so yeah, i'm hooked. i keep listening and listening to his songs. they're fantastic. and he's not well-known either. from indiana.
OH! mama, clara, kelly, and kaylyn threw me a mini surprise sweet 16 party thursday night. THANK YOU:) it was a blast. and i know not as many people were there than what you wanted (talking about clara lol) but it's okay. i had a blast. and thank you to everyone who came. the cake was delicious btw and totally cute. and did i mention i LOVE the game apples to apples? and how beast hartwig and nathan are at that game too haha


MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 13 DAYS:]
i'll be 16. [i'll be by edwin mccain is an amazing song]
it's about freakin' time lol
oh, and i have a date on my birthday.
how awesome is that.
it'll be me and nathan & charity and peter:D
i'm super excited!
but that is of course after dad takes me out for lunch for
my birthday:]!

5.10.2008

Thought of the Day

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." - Berthold Auerbach

pretty much one of my favorite quotes ever:)

5.03.2008

I can't seem to dodge Pres Ladle. what's up with that? lol

i gave a talk in harrison at the beginning of the year. pres woestman and pres ladle were there, saying what a wonderful job i did. now i am a prospective speaker. maybe stake conference? that was the joke anyway. i really don't want to. mostly because i can talk to people individually no problem, but i'm not a huge fan of talking to a huge group...
then in april my dad asks me to speak with him and mom in oxford. sure why not? it's a branch too; less people! it was great, i got to talk on elder wirthlin's talk at general conference!! and of course, pres ladle and pres guffey were there. i think they're following me. pres ladle "let me know when your next talk is, i'm going to be there." great... :) ...
so i was thinking sure why not, come. i'm getting used to it by now! but i was thinking okay it's going to be a while before i get assigned another talk. nope, been back in fairfield ward for about a month and a half now and i'm giving a talk on may 11. what joy. but it's okay. i like giving talks i do, they are very insightful and uplifting!! and who else can say that in 5 months they have given 3 talks in 3 different congregations? i feel at least a little special :D
and stake conference is in august. so i might as well start prepping myself just in case if i'll talk again. and if i don't there is always next year...and then there is always seminary graduation...wooo...

i'm really starting to get used to this whole let's give a talk at least every other month thing. i like it even if i'm still not comfortable talking to a big group. :)

3.16.2008

Things that make me happy...

My Happy List (sounds so stupid but thats what the Sunday School paper said...we were supposed to think of three. And so i wrote a gazillion of course.)

  • family & friends
  • missionaries
  • food (i have two and a half of liters of pop in the fridge woohoo!)
  • french not spanish
  • tech (choraliers)
  • parties/spending time with friends
  • football (Super Bowl)
  • basketball
  • wrestling
  • music!
  • love
  • laughing
  • making people smile
  • phone calls
  • debating
  • crispy ranch snack wraps
  • cheesecake
  • KFC
  • President Thomas S. Monson
  • Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
  • Ireland
  • the movie, P.S. I Love You
  • photography
  • piano
  • bass singers/good tenors -- any guy who can SING.
  • stargazing
  • mint chocolate chip ice cream
  • Indianapolis Colts!!
  • THE Ohio State Buckeyes
  • flip-flops
  • flats
  • "superfluous"/"discombobulated"/"bequeath"
  • Brooke White/David Archuleta (American Idol contestants)
  • Simon (American Idol judge)
  • chocolate
  • singing/dancing randomly
  • politics
  • math (trig)
  • not wearing my glasses
  • listening to Katie sing
  • encouragement/support
  • being able to vent to someone who you know will listen
  • purses
  • sunglasses
  • jeans
  • hoodies
  • Clara's straightener
  • 3 Nephi 17
  • 2 Nephi 2
  • Matthew 5
  • D&C 121
  • Helaman 5:12
  • EFY
  • Youth Conference
  • Girls Camp
  • North Carolina
  • Cincinnati North Stake
  • warm weather
  • Law&Order, CSI, etc
  • Monk
  • Triple Cherry Trix Yogurt
  • meeting new people
  • guys with muscle (not disgusting though)
  • milk
  • hot water (as long as I'm not drinking it)
  • sleeping in
  • people who can curl my hair
  • donut holes
  • mascara
  • fire
  • temple
  • roses
  • dancing/dances
  • mac n cheese
  • nature
  • legally blonde
  • theatre
  • compliments
  • cleaning
  • prayer
  • hot tubs
  • laffy taffy
  • road trips
  • plane flights
  • clouds
  • bubble wrap
  • playgrounds
  • pouring rain
  • Toyota Avalon's
  • wrap-around porches
  • my bed
  • Joe's house (pool table, slot machine, air hockey, etc)
  • Tanner's house (mansion much??)
  • snakes
  • clean snow
  • feeling of grass on your feet
  • quotes
  • shopping
  • the song, "Across The Universe"
  • the song, "Imagine"
  • the song, "Let It Be"
  • the song, "Angels In The Alleyway"
  • Michael Jackson's music
  • Alicia Keys!
  • brunettes
  • blue eyes
  • hair dye
  • Jessica's hair
  • mustangs
  • driving fast
  • virgin Strawberry Daiquiri's
  • Shirley Temple's
  • Journey (Don't Stop Believing is an amazing song, btw)
  • the song, "I'm So Hood" (no reason really, just love it. ha)
  • i-pods
  • singing along to Marching Band music
  • Facebook
  • Black & White pictures
  • hugs!!
  • squirrels
  • dogs
  • jumping on the bed
  • cell phones
  • doritos
  • comedies
  • Jessica :)
  • FHS
  • pens
  • hoop earrings
  • sunshine
  • the dark
  • the band, Boys Like Girls
  • red starbursts!!
  • Kelly's car, Gorilla
  • Hershey Kisses
  • celery with peanut butter
  • Reece's
  • Cheerios
  • Domino's
  • peeps in the microwave
  • Charlotte Russe
  • Forever 21
  • Deb
  • Kohl's
  • Target
  • Dollar Danberry movies
  • berets
  • naps!

3.09.2008

Mother Nature is the Devil in disguise

so mama finally went to bed (maybe...she's probably talking to papa instead...i tried to get her to bed over a half an hour ago...shows how bad i am trying to convince mama...i talk to her too much haha)
but because she left, i promised her i would blog finally. promises, promises.

so in the midst of a crappy week, and freakin' mother nature ruining my weekend, i'm trying real hard to find the good things that did happen this week. so here goes:

  • well, my family is pretty much amazing, and people should be jealous. jk everyone needs to be grateful for their own family lol. but still i'm becoming more appreciative of them. well okay more appreciative of younger siblings. gotta love them. especially when they graciously give you tons of sour gummy worms. thanks laura :)
  • food to eat. i've been hungry a lot lately. food is delicious. and if i didn't have the food i did, i would cry. maybe even die. i'm in love with congo bars all over again.
  • which reminds me, mama making congo bars for the first time in a century was amazing and quite tasty!
  • spending time with jessica thursday night. meaning we talked and watched american idol. ha. hate the show, love this season (the 3 davids...they're talented!)
  • talking on the phone with joe thursday night when i really needed it was a blessing.
  • spending the night at clara's with kelly also. that was a blast :)
  • sledding in the snow. so yeah sure i hate snow with such a passion now, its probably illegal, but still. good sledding snow and down the Jungkunz's hill/drive way too. wow that was fun!
  • "mermaid" "macho man" "Buddha" "Santa" hahahahaha
  • the movie Madagascar is hilarious.
  • read somewhere that al gore might get sued. made my day. global warming, my butt. (NOTE: he really probably isn't. biggest rumor ever. but it was still hilarious.)


um yeah there's some stuff. pretty awesome stuff too. :)

1.30.2008

Ode to President Hinckley

Saw this on Facebook. I really liked it :)

Ode to President Hinckley
He spoke.
We listened.
He voiced with care –
“Prepare for the day when I won’t be here.”

A Prophet’s Voice.
A Warning Cry.
“Look to the Savior, and you shall not die.”

A rushing wind.
A silence, loud.
The fire by night.
The pillar of cloud.
The Priesthood displayed.
The glory of God.

Our Rock,
Our example,
Our Iron Rod.

He spoke.
We listened.
He voiced with care.

…Heads Bowed.
…Hearts touched.

We Hear.
We Hear.

-Jill Dyches

1.09.2008

Mission Thoughts

I went tracting last Saturday with Sister Walton and Sister Hanks and Clara. Then we went to Buffalo Wild Wings.
First time going; I was nervous. Like really nervous. I thought about not going at all. Thank goodness I did go. It was a blast. I absolutely loved it. Only tracted one street, but Sister Hanks and I didn't get one door slam. We got at least 10 conversations. At least. 2 houses to come back and give Books of Mormon to. And 1 appointment set. It was fun. Insightful. Thrilling even. I know that this is not a usual occurrence, but goodness, it was a great first experience! Seriously though, I used to be "Oh mission. No thanks. I'll talk to people I know, etc but no thanks on the mission. I'll go to school, get a good job, get married, be perfectly okay. Other people can go on missions. Sounds like to much for me and I'm not particularly good at full-out talking about everything." Well, not anymore. Sure I'm still not that great at doing the talking, but oh my goodness. If life leads me to my choice of going on a mission or not, I'm most definitely going to go. It's so much easier saying that, now that I've been tracting with the Sisters. So much easier to say that, when you hear the missionaries have conversations with people, and even give your own two cents sometimes. So much easier to say that, when you have that experience. That experience will give you knew insights on whether you wanna go or not. Even as I'm writing it now, I wanna go more and more. And there will be few things that could stop me.

My only question is Why haven't I gone tracting before January 5, 2008; why was I so scared to go before?
I guess that's two questions...oh well.