Coolest Quote Ever

Talking about the Gospel: "My life was so empty before it, and now it's pretty much why i live."

why do i always post my friends' poems on here? lol

My friend Ashley wrote this poem:]

Falling in love is a dangerous thing.
there's no telling just where you might land,
and no telling if you'll just keep falling
or if someone will put out their hand.
Putting faith like that into a lover
doesn't make for a true love at all,
it just leads to dependence and heartbreak
and pain when you land from the fall.
Saying someone is the sun in your sky
and the reason the stars are so bright
can lead to infinite cloudy days
and a velvety blackness each night.
And saying that you live only for them
or they are the beats of your heart
puts you at risk for a premature death
if it happens to all fall apart.
Declaring that they are all you see
and that they are each breath that you take
will in time affect you with blindness
or cause you to suffocate.
These are mistakes that all lovers make
that they usually don't even see,
they don't realize the true definition of love,
the kind that lasts for eternity.

well...
My love for you isn't like that.

You aren't the reason my sun shines each day
Your are not the only one I can see.
You didn't put all of the stars in the sky
nor are you every breath come from me.
you're not the reason my heart keeps on beating,
my life does not center on you,
I am not hopeless if i cant be yours...
without you to myself I'm still true.

instead...

I want to share the sunlight with you,
the warmth on our faces as we walk,
I want to be with you under the stars...
just sitting close with no need to talk.
Instead of you being all that i see
I want to see everything with you.
Our dreams and fears and hopes and trials,
and everything we do.
And every breath I can share with you
is one that would be treasured...
and laying close, it'd be so amazing
to feel our hearts beating together.
who i am is not determined by "us",
I do not desperately need you,
But I'd enjoy your close company more than you know...
i guess that's what i mean when i say "i love you".

"You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)" Josh Groban

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

Another poem, written by my friend Courtney=)

As I glance down at the beautiful blade,
Remembering all of the horrible mistakes I made,
Tears cascading down my cheek,
Feeling dead and spiritually weak.

Pretty pills lay on the table beside me,
Resorting to this perverted remedy,
I plan to shear open wounds unto my skin,
Realizing the darkness shining within.

But here stands a picture of my savior, my soul mate,
The one who has morphed my awful fate.
What would they say of my cruel mind?
Would I be leaving something behind?

I lower the razor of fate to the floor,
I refuse to let myself cry anymore.
Too much keeps me by my beloved's side,
I slowly realize it's only part of me that died.

So I gaze towards the once empty Heaven's in prayer,
Knowing now that I can find Him anywhere.

When I feel lost or in eternal pain,
When I feel like life is in utter disdain,
I look to him and smile,
And know life isn't all that vile.

Conversations

"well if you see yourself thinking about others and what they would like, you need to stop. that's one thing i had to learn and it took me forrrever. here: i wake up. determine what mood i'm in. lazy? what if i see this person today and i'm dressed like i didn't care? nope not right attitude. i'm feeling like i don't need to try with my wardrobe so i won't. if i wake up and i'm like alright i'm doing good, i have time. maybe i'll really try hard today like spend lots of time. okay by the end of the time span i still look like i gave a 5-minute effort. so guess what i do now? i spend 5 minutes on clothes and hair. make-up takes maybe 5 minutes. b/c i've finally come to realize i honestly don't give a crap if people think i didn't try b/c i know i did at least a little and what i think about myself is more important."


"I didn't even know you well at youth conference. i knew nothing about you, but I thought you were cool, and I always slightly wanted that, to be like you and your group. But I felt I wasn't good enough. But when you cared, when you asked what was wrong, I knew that kind of person. I knew to trust you. Instinct." - someone said that to me. i'm not going to share who but it meant a great deal.


"you may be surprised to hear this but i've been alone quite a lot before. it sucks it really does and all one wants is to find someone who they can turn to, talk to, fill that loneliness. i know it sucks and i wish i could give you the best advice but i really don't know what to say. i don't know your background, your thoughts, your wants and desires. i know you're a great person but like every other great person you can't do it alone especially when trying to fill that gap of loneliness. turn to your friends, but most importantly what i've learned to do is pray. i wish i prayed more when i was your age and in the intermediate/middle school level b/c it would have helped me a lot. seriously, turn to good friends for help and advice but even when friends fall short sometimes (b/c lets face it we all fall short, no one's perfect) God's always there. and this may sound cheesy, fake, and irrelevant but it helps incredibly...
...i used to never vent. trust me don't go down that route. venting is good. i had so many things built up in me that once i finally started opening up to people it was like it was impossible to start from one point and explain what i was feeling b/c it was like i want to talk to you about this but then i need to tell you why i'm reacting why i am so it's b/c of this and that's b/c of that and it sucks b/c people sometimes don't understand where i'm coming from b/c it's almost like they don't know the real me b/c i never really showed anyone my feelings until i'd say probably 8th or 9th grade. especially this past year since last summer i've changed a lot. and not really changed who i am just more that i changed how i acted around people. like i started being myself and i'm quite emotional more than i used to think"








a few thoughts i shared with a friend. i guess you can tell me what you think. if you don't, oh well. if you do, alright. the second quote is something she said to me.

"Nothing"

My friend, Josh, in my English class wrote this for a poetry competition thing our teacher had us enter. He only got an honorable mention and imo, it should have won at the very least second.


"What does the richest man want but can not buy?
What is the correct answer to every "why"?
What's superior to perfection, what's inferior to sin?
What's safer than protection, what's more interior than in?
What's luckier than seven, what's healthier than well?
What's better than heaven, what's worse than hell?
What's shorter than a moment, what's longer than forever?
What in the world has existed never?
What doesn't happen for a reason?
What's colder than freezin'?
What can a blind man see, what can a numb person feel?
What's more than everything, what's less than not anything?
What can make each moment reappear?
What can make everything disappear?
What's darker than black, what can a deaf man hear?
What rhymes with silver, purple, orange, or month?
What's hotter than the Z Machine, what's faster than light?
What's more unlucky than thirteen, what's lighter than white?
What's bigger than the universe, whats smaller than an atom?
The answer is something we simply can not fathom."

Random

random update of my life!
you don't get this often so enjoy!!


school is out, thank goodness [i started singing Wicked lol] stupid Fairfield had to have a make-up day. too many snow days. so our last day instead of June 6 was June 9. how cruel. well i found out today that i got straight A's this last term. i worked hard for that A in french 3. phew. but now i have summer work for french 4 and pre AP english...and then i'm also taking german 1 next year:) and business academy. i get to go to dallas, texas next may:) and my senior year is disneyland how freakin awesome is that:D
anyway, my sisters dance recital was adorable. loved it. it was my first year watching from the audience. i danced for 5 years then was working backstage the other years so it was exciting to watch for myself!
i started today walking/jogging/running in the morning. at 7. i might do 6 instead. but i do it around the neighborhood for an hour. i'm in shape, just not THAT in shape. so i'm trying to change that at least a tiny bit:)
um. btw, if you've never heard of Jon McLaughlin look him up. pretty much a phenomenal pianist and great singer and fantastic song writer, and did i mention he plays the piano? so yeah, i'm hooked. i keep listening and listening to his songs. they're fantastic. and he's not well-known either. from indiana.
OH! mama, clara, kelly, and kaylyn threw me a mini surprise sweet 16 party thursday night. THANK YOU:) it was a blast. and i know not as many people were there than what you wanted (talking about clara lol) but it's okay. i had a blast. and thank you to everyone who came. the cake was delicious btw and totally cute. and did i mention i LOVE the game apples to apples? and how beast hartwig and nathan are at that game too haha


MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 13 DAYS:]
i'll be 16. [i'll be by edwin mccain is an amazing song]
it's about freakin' time lol
oh, and i have a date on my birthday.
how awesome is that.
it'll be me and nathan & charity and peter:D
i'm super excited!
but that is of course after dad takes me out for lunch for
my birthday:]!